Peppermint, poop, snot and ketchup

I finally got a shower after two days of sitting on the couch holding a crying mucous filled two year old and proceeded to prepare for my foray into the professional world. As I'm taking an interpreter test, I donned my nice black blouse and Caribbean skirt and for the first time in several days, felt human.

I walked downstairs and noticed both boys doing the "potty dance". I assisted them in doing their business then gave them each a peppermint to thank them for not making me change diapers anymore. Xander, still whiny but I can cope cuz I got a shower, climbed into my lap and promptly coughed his sticky slimy peppermint right into my hair and down my neck. Lovely. I go to the bathroom and clean myself up and am immediately joined by Xavi. The moment he entered the room I knew that he had intentionally waited until after the peppermint to evacuate his bowels--why oh why couldn't he have just gone in the toilet three minutes ago?!?!

As I clean him up, he picks up his soiled pants and throws them at me. Bulls eye! Right in my lap. I finish cleaning him up and go change my skirt wondering if it's going to smell like poop if I just throw it in the wash or if I should soak it in oxiclean first. By now both boys are screaming for hot dogs. Can't go wrong with hot dogs, right? Wrong. I make them both hot dogs with ketchup. Xavi jumps up to feed himself. Sick Xander wants to be picked up and put in his chair. Hot dog in one hand, two year old in the other I walk to the table. Xander sneezes and knocks the ketchup topped hot dog onto my blouse. Of course my hair was in the way so now I have ketchup in my wet hair and all over my nice blouse.

In a completely different outfit than I had planned on wearing to my test, children fed and relieved I thought my ordeal was over. I resumed my spot on the couch with Xander on my lap and he curls into me for a big hug...and wipes his snotty nose across my only other black shirt suitable for being video taped while interpreting.

I love my life.